3 Years Of Blogging
Another year will end! Time flies so fast and in a few days, I’ll be celebrating the 3rd anniversary of this blog. A lot has definitely changed since I started doing this “beauty” blogging.
I must be honest that it has been so much about buying and getting products, wearing makeup at home just to try all those cosmetics that I wanna share and review, and even selfies and shoots that I had to produce on my own with help from cousins, friends and even helpers at home.
Remember that long hiatus before the blog relaunch? I’ve been thinking of different aspects of this blog , how I can be better at this, and how I can add life in words and photos, and I know that putting myself in this space filled of html codes and various products can be a dangerous space, falling into notions of being a “makeup addict”, a “famewhore”, “narsisisst”or “feeling celebrity” (I really get that a lot). But blogging made me realize some new things on my own. Of course aside from learning how to practise my voice online (and offline, of course)
First is all that famous saying that you blog for passion and it’s 100% true. There comes a time where people will get tired of photographing you (thanks to my friends who would do it for me for free!!), and realize how of course, you need photos to build a blog, but also realize that it is difficult to have words that don’t really describe you or your daily life (like when you get bombarded by products that don’t match any of your sexuality (like sanitary napkins!) or emails from PR’s that doesn’t even mention you by name.) It takes so much time and effort (and sometimes help and favor) to build LOTD’s, OOTD’s and selfies that could prove effectiveness of these products you rave or rant about.
But also that while the makeup blogger receives a lot of beauty products and attends these fabulous gatherings, it is not just all glamour. I’ve attended so much events for the past 2 and a half years, and I’ve reached Alabang twice or thrice – a place I haven’t visited ever since because I live in Valenzuela – just to attend launches and workshops. I also spent maybe more than i could earn in a day for cabs and MRT fares just to reach a place where I could learn and get the opportunity to review a product. There comes a time when a lot of skin care products are lined up for review, but there is just one face that can accept all those. There comes a time when there are 4 events lined up in a day and even if you attend at least three, you already needed to change stilettos to flats at the second one. Because really, it takes time and real work and dedication to review and tell stories about the cosmetics, products, especially when you’re being really analytical about all these. And it made me appreciate how our local beauty bloggers have been doing all these for the past years, like Shen, Martha, Nikki, Liz etc.
And that a lot of these evaluating the color payoff, or comparing ml’s and differentiating warm from cool colors is all a matter of skill as well, beyond packaging and brand, and that skill is always better with practice, combined with opinions as well from people and brands who share your passion. And that those workshops (even if there a lot of them taught already in youtube videos, books and workshops), help you remember and make you better at this task.
A lot of my friends would tell me: ” Oh you are super rich now!” (because of the brands I “endorse”) and ” so soshal. lakas maka-artista!” and I feel quite bad projecting this certain image – and maybe because I’ve been letting you girls see only the fun part- because in reality, there is really nothing extra money-generating or celebrity-feeling (if you are talking about that feeling of being famous and approached to by companies for being the “face” of the brand) for me through this blog. I didn’t become one of those top fashion/beauty bloggers who would get paid huge amounts of money for my opinion or look or being an ambassador of a brand (and not that there is something wrong with this because I actually like real people rationalizing what to buy or not). Most of my recommendations are really out of my observations. Most of my features are out of sheer interest on a story or event. Most of my workshops – even the branded ones, I organized them, looked for sponsors so I can give you girls something to try at home, and promoted with help from fellow bloggers and friends (thanks to them!). The one I organized with fees? I spent it on that birthday makeup party to make it grander and festive for everyone. I spent some of my savings on rebuilding this website with a much livelier feel, and paying artists to help me develop logos, photoshoots and designs – because I can’t do that alone.
But also that, beyond money ( generating income and proving value for money of products) and also popularity ( I was told that that attracts so much haters and ugh, I faced them for quite a period of time), it is and will and should always be about the blogger. I remember signing up in this blogspot now called “Blogger”, not knowing anything about Google, or html or SEO, and just photoshooting myself with that curly wig I owned, and my eyes with that falsies I’ve longed to wear after years of being stuck in corporate life. I never wanted to lose that drive to always become expressive of how I feel about my looks, always being creative, always true as a transgender (now telling that clearly), and to always share my thoughts and opinions about things beauty and now, non-beauty related as well, I hope, because there is so much as well about my life that I wanted to be more open about.
Also I realized how silly I had been to feel trapped within that name “Break My Spell”. I have always taught you to see beyond trends ( and think of style and logic), to express yourself and to wear the boldest colors, but sometimes I just fall into what other people would say to me and try to blame and correct myself for those: “too much make up”, “not smiling”, “too much photo filter”, “ugly”, “beauty makeup blogger”, “baklang” blogger. And that if I’m the one who would fall into those standards of how a blogger, or a woman, or a transgender woman, or even as a really really happy person that people would like me to look like, then I’m not doing the task of being myself for myself.
But what I really really loved is how this has been a space for a lot of you, and me, to share all these experiences in this blog and all my other social sites and how that helped me as well to be better and out there at what I love doing, and at being myself and just living. Thank YOU for being part of my beauty journey for the past 2-3 years and looking forward to the next ones!