Allow yourself to be sad.
“It is neither shallow nor passive.” – Audrey Wollen
As I’m writing this and shooting this glitter tears makeup 😉 , I’m listening to Coldplay’s Head Full of Dreams album. Ever since they launched it earlier this year, I kept wondering how their songs can be so sad yet optimistic and good all at the same time. And I tell myself maybe that’s the “magic” of their art.
One of my favorite philosophy teachers back in college, Sir Pasco, posted a status in FB a few days ago that kept me working my emotions around this journey so far. He argued that most of us are afraid of being courageous craftsmen of happiness because it’s a liability – it can be lost or mismanaged.
Turning 28, and with all that I have realized and lost this year especially, I knew that the first step to happiness is to accept sadness and the responsibility that comes with it. To become constantly aware of the things that I can’t change, but also those that I can, with the recognition that I have all the will to decide on these fights, slay, and win them fiercely, with the possible disappointments and the risks that come with it. To be the best that I can be (very Pokemon lang!) in this “pursuit of happiness.”
The same way that I have to recognize how I have been working all these years with the help of people like you that truly support me to champion happiness: fighting for LGBT rights , pushing for love and for family, becoming the woman I want to be, trying to succeed and further myself in this highly-competitive industry, and just being the person I am, despite all. And of course all the things I get from these and from you and Others that truly make me happy.
There’s this comment that I always get: “Smile more often, naman. Always be happy!”. The best person in my life, my mom, sent me a long birthday wish about this last night and I prayed the same for myself too. Truth is, I am not afraid to say that I’m sad and I am not afraid to own that I’m working on it. It doesn’t mean I’m all for pity party, but I realized that it’s actually harder to force myself to be happy.
So, cheers to accepting this emotion, learning from it and keeping the “running we’ve done and the distance we’ve gone” as my alma mater would say in a birthday letter I got today. =)
Thank you for all the birthday greetings, guys!