28

Allow yourself to be sad.

“It is neither shallow nor passive.” – Audrey Wollen

As I’m writing this and shooting this glitter tears makeup ūüėČ , I’m listening to Coldplay’s Head Full of Dreams album. Ever since they launched it earlier this year, I kept wondering how their songs can be so sad yet optimistic and good all at the same time. And I tell myself maybe that’s the “magic” of their art.

One of my favorite philosophy teachers back in college, Sir Pasco, posted a status in FB a few days ago that kept me working my emotions around this journey so far. He argued that most of us are afraid of being courageous craftsmen of happiness because it’s a liability – it can be lost or mismanaged.¬†

Turning 28, and with all that I have realized and lost this year especially, I knew that the first step to happiness is to accept sadness and the responsibility that comes with it. To become constantly aware of the things that I can’t change, but also those that I can, with the recognition that I have all the will to decide on these fights, slay, and ¬†win them fiercely, with¬†the possible disappointments and the risks that come with it. To be the best that I can be (very Pokemon lang!) in this “pursuit of happiness.”

The same way that I have to recognize how I have been working all these years with the help of people like you that truly support me to champion happiness: fighting for LGBT rights , pushing for love and for family,  becoming the woman I want to be, trying to succeed and further myself in this highly-competitive industry, and just being the person I am, despite all. And of course all the things I get from these and from you and Others that truly make me happy.

There’s this comment that I always get: “Smile more often, naman. Always be happy!”. The best person in my life, my¬†mom, sent me a long birthday wish about this last night and I prayed the same for myself too. Truth is, I am not afraid to say that I’m sad and I am not afraid to own¬†that I’m working on it. It doesn’t mean I’m all for pity party, but I realized that it’s actually harder to force myself to be happy.¬†

So, cheers to accepting this emotion, learning from it and keeping the “running we’ve done and the distance we’ve gone” as my alma mater would say in a birthday letter I got today.¬†¬†=)

Thank you for all the birthday greetings, guys!

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